Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

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As told to Scot Adams. Maybe you've noticed that normal people become irrational, paradigm-spewing zombies after becoming managers. Ever wondered what they know that you don't? Wonder no more. In this indispensible guide, Dogbert reveals the many skills needed by managers in their daily lives, including: Pretending to care - learn how to hear without listening! Competition - experience the joy of setting your people against one another! Making decisions - be a leader without making any decisions! Incentives - inspire employees by giving them worthless knickknacks! Remember: Leadership isn't something you're born with. It's something you learn by reading Dogbert books. A world-class consultant and bestselling author, Dogbert has spent much of his life giving advice to gullible people with disposable incomes. His brain has many more crevices than yours, so you'd better do what he says.